"I will not leave you as orphans - I will come to you." John 14:18

Thursday, December 3, 2009

Fighting it off

I have made some contacts this week that have not been as encouraging as I had hoped. I spoke with a woman at Department of Children Services (after 3 rounds of phone tag) that took my initial information; name, # of children interested in, county of residence, ect. She then promised that she would pass the information on to the person in my county that was responsible for placement. She said that I should expect a call within a week's time. I thought, "Yeah, right." (Insert sarcastic huff here.) Thankfully, and much to my surprise, I recieved a call the next day from the Sumner County DCS worker. He gave me valuable information about the PATH training that I'm going to be taking, and took some more information about me. I told him that I was most interested in a child 4-8 years old. His response to me was there are not many children in this age group that are open for fostering to adopt because they are typically returned to their biological homes. He did say that there are plenty of teenagers that need homes. Oh gracious! Teenagers?? What does this mean to me? At first, I felt like maybe I was headed down the wrong path. Maybe I should be going through a private agency? Should I pursue domestic adoption instead of fostering to adopt? I have to fight off the voices in my head, because my God is in control. My desire to mother a child of this certain age has not changed. While the DCS worker says it's rare for this age child to be available in the foster to adopt system, my God specializes in miracles. If this is truly God's desire for me, it will happen. I may have to wait longer. I may have to suffer some brokeness and heartache. But my God is bigger than any timeline, and has abundant love and comfort for the brokenhearted.

So, here I sit. . . fighting off the first round (of many to come, I'm sure) of doubts. Knowing that God is faithful. Knowing that this decision for me to pursue adoption is GOD'S request of me. Yes, I have always wanted to be a mother. Yes, I have waited a long time to do it. But NO. . . I didn't consider single motherhood by choice until God laid it on my heart.

Thank you for your concern and prayers for me. Thank you for asking me how things are going. I'm blessed by talking about it, talking through it, and by hearing your opinions, feelings, and thoughts. Have a blessed week.

(Oh yeah, and by the way. . . I start my PATH training classes January 7, 2010.)
"I press on toward the goal. . ."

2 comments:

Holly said...

That surprises me that he would say a child in that age group is rare to foster. I thought there were hundreds of children out there needing foster homes. Weird. I think you are doing the right thing by not worrying about it! God will make it abundantly clear to you the way He did for us! Sometimes having patience is the worst part. I'm praying for you!!

love,
Holly : )

Gayle said...

I certainly understand your frustration. When I began my adoption journey 35 years ago I was told that I would have to wait 4-5 years to get a child under the age of 12 months. God sent me my precious daughter in just a little over a year. I know He is preparing that special child just for you!