On the eve of my second PATH training class, I put this post out there to ask for your prayers. I have been quite overwhelmed lately by busyness in my life. It's all stuff that I've chosen to do and that I feel passionate about, but it's taking up a lot of time none-the-less. With that comes a deep feeling of panic. I feel as though I'm starting to dip below the surface of the water and can not get enough breath. Just when I make it to the top to gulp in, the waves push me down again. Is this an indication of things to come? Is this a glimpse of how my life as a mother will be? Heavens, I hope not. I am usually pretty busy doing "stuff" and pretty bad at saying "no". But even in my busiest times, I sit for an evening and feel guilty because that time is not full. For the first time in a long time, I am ready to admit that at this time in my life, I am officially over-committed. I don't feel like it's appropriate for me to go into details of all of the irons I have in the fire right now, but trust me when I say, it's got to be pretty bad for me to even admit that I'm over-committed. So, things have begun to fall by the wayside. I've had to look carefully at the things that I'm doing and decide what is most valuable. The things that are far down on the list and take much of my time have to be put to the side. I've already dropped one of my classes that I was working on for my Plus-30. At this point in my life, finding my child is more important than furthering my education. I am still in another class, but the class I dropped was going to be too much work for this season on my life and I wanted to be able to take more time to fill out my foster parenting paperwork. I knew that if I had the choice to fill out my PATH paperwork or do homework for my class, the PATH paperwork would always rise to the top and I wouldn't be working for excellence in my schoolwork.
So yes, as you see me at church, around town, on Facebook, or through the phone you may find me with bags under my eyes, a blank stare on my face, a quiet voice, an exhausted tone, or at loss for words ~ but I am ok. Please just pray that I will be obedient to what God wants me to do right now in my life and in the path that He's chosen for me. Hugs are great. Pats on the back are welcome. Gift certificates for spas are lovely. (just kidding) Please just keep praying that I can work through the necessities of life. . . that I can do what God is truly asking me to do and say no to the other things.
Thank you for praying friends. . .
Oh yes, and by the way, I went with the blue sharpie pens. . .
Who's that girl?
9 years ago
1 comment:
Oh, Beth, I'm pretty sure almost all of us have had these kinds of times. And I think if you are seeking Him in what to do, He will surely let you know gently and quietly what to keep and what you may want to drop. As for being a mother, I won't lie, there have been times, especially when the kids were small, that I felt like I was just treading water and that's it. But as time goes by, you live and learn, and things get better. God is always there, helping us through every season, and guiding us in what to do. Sometimes we don't know it until after it's past though! And then we see clearly that He was there just like He still is. Praying for you, Beth!
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